Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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