Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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