What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
