I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
