Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
