Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
