When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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