Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
