READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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