Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
