its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
