Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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