I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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