dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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