I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
