when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
