Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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