I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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