everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
