I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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