Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
