tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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