I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
