real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
