dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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