Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
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