I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
