I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
should my penis look like a turkey
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
