I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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