remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
