she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
