He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I want a musical about memes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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