I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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