I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
