okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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