i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
