Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize