If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
