Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
