You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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