I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
