From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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