I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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