And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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