come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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