even my farts smell like vagina
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
