Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
