Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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