idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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