am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
