We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Congratulations! We have a period
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