trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize