i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
