Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
