he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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