Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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