Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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