we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize