wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
