I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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