TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
