Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
