if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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