this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I could make wine with my vomit
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
