when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
