this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
